.Libbie Loves.

2010-01-07T15:21:00.000-08:00

All I need is You to have Your way

You are the Potter and I am the clay
All I need is You to have Your way
You are Creator and I'm what You've made

Finally I Surrender
-Misty Edwards

Lord, mold me. Continue to mold me into the woman you designed me to be. I choose you. I choose to let go of the past. To say no to the lies and say yes to you. You are worthy. Father me, guide me, fill me.
You have my heart. I am yours forever.
your daughter,
LibbieAnn.

Im reaching out for you Lord...

2009-12-08T19:03:00.000-08:00

There's distance in the air and I cannot make it leave
i wave my arms' round about me and blow with all my might
I cannot sense you close, though I know you're always here
But the comfort of you near is what i long for

When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear you, I know you still hear every word I pray
And i want you more than i want to live another day
And as I wait for you maybe I'm made more faithful

All the folly of the past, though I know it is undone
i still feel the guilty one, still trying to make it right
So i whisper soft your name, let it roll around my tounge,
knowing you're the only one who knows me
You know me

Show me how I should live this
Show me where I should walk
I count this world as loss to me
You are all I want
You are all I want

-Song Faithful by Brook Fraiser

2009-12-05T22:03:00.000-08:00

Life's Crazy.
Overwhelmed.
Tired.
I think I'm going crazy..
Ready for change...So ready.

I wonder.

2009-10-18T13:40:00.000-07:00

As I'm sitting in this coffee shop,
I look around.
I look around at the people around me.
All different ages,
all different races,
all different lives.
I wonder what they're thinking,
what they're going through.
I can see the pain some are carrying,
the weight of life on their shoulders,
their fears,
their deep secrets they have shoved into the back,
black places in their hearts or minds.
I wonder if they know how loved they are?
I wonder if they know that there is freedom?
I wonder if they know that in confession there is redemption?
I wonder if they want more than this mundane life we live sometimes?
And then I wonder,

do I know the answers to these questions either?

Our Past is a Reflection of Our Longings

2009-08-27T13:11:00.000-07:00

Our search for love, for meaning, for happiness, is often our search for God in disguise. When the bottom falls out of our lives, when we come to a dead end, when there is no place to go, we often get in touch with our longings for God. Religion had told the Samaritan woman about the possibility of a Messiah, and she meets the real Messiah, who immediately recognizes her thirst and offers her the living water of his grace. What this woman expects from the Messiah is a lengthy critique, an enlightening lecture on what she should do, a harsh and justifiable reminder of the consequences of her destructive choices on others. What she receives instead is compassion, gentleness, kindness, and a way out of the ruins of her life.
Jesus goes straight for her longings, finds them, and in the process finds her.

In a book by a New Zealand author Mike Riddell, Vincent has met and fallen in love with a young girl named Marilyn. Neither one of them is seeking a relationship, but a relationship is seeking them. Swept up by their emotions, the two become deeply involved. Marilyn, a prostitute, is not prepared to fall in love and is certainly not prepared for the honesty love requires. She must tell Vincent who she is, knowing full well that her painful disclosure will probably mean the end of their relationship.

"Vincent?"
"Mmmm"
"There's ah...there's something we need to talk about."
"Only if you want to. I'm happy just to sit here and look at you. Sorry, this looks like something serious." Looks a lot like the intro to a Dear John speech, truth be told.
"Its about me and what I do."
"Yeah, I wondered when you were going to pluck up the courage to talk about it. Don't tell me, you work for the CIA right? Sorry, sorry, Ill shut up."
She is totally absorbed in the remains of her salad, scrutinizing it for something. Anything to avoid his eyes.
"There's no easy way of saying this. I'm a prostitute. I sleep with men for a living. Its a business. I'm very professional."

Time and silence have this thing they do together. They make a chasm that has no bottom to it. And there you are standing right on the edge of it. Aware that at any moment you may be falling and falling and falling, with no hope of recovery. At the moment they are at either side of it, each consumed by their private terror. She looks up at last from her salad, Vincent is crying. The tears are streaming down his cheecks, and he is biting his lip to stop himself sobbing. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to deceive you. I'm sorry, Vincent, I'm sorry.

He cant speak. He wants to, but nothing is working, He is looking at her, at her beautiful face, at her eyes, at the slight hardness around her mouth. And weeping and weeping. She reaches a hand across to hold his. She is beyond tears, empty and bleak and barren. Vincent is mumbling something but is incoherent through the pain. And then he begins to repeat again and again.

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you...."
This is the worst thing she has ever heard in her life. She wants to scream, to break something, to top over the table in rage. Instead some continental shelf rips loose within her. She begins gulping and moaning, a terrible agonizing cry from another place. And the tears are flowing. They grip each other's hands, and lean their foreheads together. The tears are flowing into the abyss, and there is no end to them.

Marilyn expected Vincent to reject her, to pull away form her, to have nothing to do with her, In a strange and touching way, Vincent did what Jesus would do; he looked beneath her behavior, saw her longings, and all he could do was weep. She expected criticism; what she received was understanding. Instead of hearing words of condemnation, Marilyn heard over and over again, "I love you."

Reading this has changed me...encouraged me..and even inspired me.

Thank you Lord for your compassion, grace and forgiveness towards us.
Thank you for loving me through the pain, failures and disappointments.
Your deep love for me has shown me how to deeply love you.

Gratitude

2009-05-22T16:21:00.000-07:00

Its been awhile since Ive written a blog...I wonder if anyone reads these anyways...
But Ill let my thoughts flow as they may...

As I think back to just a few weeks ago, before my internship started, before I found a job, before I knew what God had in store for me...
All I am filled with is...
.Gratitude.
Our God is such a faithful God, even in the chaos, even in the quietness.

I hear more and more people around me who are just so confused with their lives, live with no hope, wonder why God punishes them, or abandons them...

The thing is...Our God is not a punisher, he does not abandon us, and is our only hope for life..

Deuteronomy 31: 8 says....
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

I realized how empty I am. how needy I am without the Lord. That I literally cannot do it on my own. The more I realize that, the more Im dependent on Christ. He alone is my strength, my hope, my freedom, my clarity, my reason for life.
I am so In love with Him.

How can this be?

-Because he desires to have relationship with me, and out of that I respond and desire one back. I realize that it is definitely not about me,..It is about Christ's glory being revealed through me. What an honor that is! I know we are supposed to know this as Christians, but do we really live it out? do we really live each day set apart? Do we really see others the way Jesus would see them? Or do we hate our brother or sister, do we gossip about our friends, or do we judge the person standing in line next to us?-

All i want to be is faithful to the Lord like how he has been faithful to me. I want to honor him, I want to be guided by him, hear him speak and respond to him and what he wants to do through me. I want to remember that everyday I am living life with a purpose. Living life to bring others into relationship with Christ with not only my words, but my actions.
Thank you lord for hearing me. Thank you lord for guiding me...

This is my prayer:

I will bless the Lord who guides me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
I know the Lord is always with me.
I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.

No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice.
My body rests in safety.
For you will not leave my soul among the dead
or allow your holy one to rot in the grave.
You will show me the way of life,
granting me the joy of your presence
and the pleasures of living with you forever.
Psalm 16:7-11

Everyday I am shaped in who I am supposed to be. Everyday I choose to surrender. I choose to let him mold me and shape me. Today and the days to come I will stand with gratitude.

2009-05-06T00:07:00.000-07:00

Thank you Lord..

For hearing me.
For filling me.
For using me.
For being Faithful.

In the midst of my requests, questions, concerns, and cry's...
You are still a good God.

Grace.

2009-04-04T13:01:00.000-07:00

A really great friend sent me this, and it truly changed my perception on my present circumstances.

Dear child of God,
Your heavenly Father will never lead you anywhere that His grace will not sustain you. He will never place more upon you than He will give you grace to bear. When the path before you seems hopelessly long, take heart. Lift up your eyes. Look ahead to that day when all suffering will be over. And remember that when you stand before Him, all the tears and sorrows of a lifetime will seem dim in comparison with the beauty and glory of His face. Without a doubt, you will say,” His amazing grace has brought me home safely.”

Thank you Lord.
Thank you for your Grace, Peace and awarness of what I am going through.
I love you Lord.

.Honesty.

2009-04-02T15:32:00.000-07:00

Honesty: I feel defeated. I'm sick of battling. I want to muster out some words of hope. But I cannot.
I'm broken.
can't see the clarity past the broken window.
Honesty sucks sometimes.

Pride and Prejudice to Hope and Freedom.

2009-03-26T13:47:00.000-07:00

So I just watched Pride and Prejudice for the first time last night.

Thought it was good, but then I always over-analyze or talk too much.
Sometimes I wish we still lived in the old days where women wore pretty dresses, went to extravagant balls where they would be presented and the men who thought them beautiful or worthy enough would pursue them. The men would go out of their way and approach the women, they would get to know them (by dancing with them for one dance..) and decide whether they wanted to ask for their hand in marriage. It seems so romantic when they meet eyes, say a few witty words, and then there they are married and starting a family.
Its interesting to see women's roles in those days compared to today. Back then, If they weren't married off soon at a young age, they wouldn't be able to provide for themselves, or be stable and they would often be seen as an outcast, or something wrong with them.
Today, women do have more rights to start a career, get married and have children later in life.
Theres so much I could go on in this area. But in the end im left thinking..
I want to be pursued. I want to be noticed. This is a cry of a girls heart right?

We have such freedom and opportunities here in the U.S. and im broken hearted when I am reminded of the things I saw in Cambodia. I remember the faces of the young girls. The children. The what look liked hopeless country. I am now sitting in a comfort of an apartment with food, protection, and peace as I read this true, yet grafic article on human/sex trafficking of young children and women being bound to men and their manipulation, lust, abuse and carelessness. These young women just want to be loved, cherished, and noticed. God has called them to a healthy form of that. God desires to be with them. God desires to take care of them, provide for them, protect them, meet with them, have relationship with them.

The biggest question we all ask, "Then why isnt God delivering the broken, hurting, bondaged, bruised today?" I dont know the exact answer. But I know that the Lord has seen what humanity has done in His sight. As hard as it was for me to accept that we have chosen our independence, he gives us a choice to choose him. And when we choose him; when we choose to walk in his ways and truths and life there is freedom. He is delivering the broken, hurting, bondadged and bruised. There is hope. There is peace in the hardships, there is hope for the hopeless, there is deliverance from the evil one. That is the beauty of God. That when we do choose dependence on him, he will do what he says.
He will meet with us in the intimate details of our lives.
(The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.Though they stumble, they will never fall. for the Lord holds them by the hand. psalm 37:23-24).
He will rescue us.
(The Lord rescues the godly;he is their fortress in times of trouble. The Lord helps them,rescuing them from the wicked. He saves them and they find shelter in him. psalm 37:39-40).

What does this have to do with you and me? Well-everything. As Christians, we are not to shut ourselves off from the real world. We are to be the voice of hope to our broken society. To know that this is going on in our world today. To acknowlege that we are broken, but in our brokenness with Christ we can bring light into the darkness. We can stand up to injustice in our neighborhoods, families and in our world.

I started this blog off talking about the movie Pride and Predjudice, and then to the horrors of human/sex trafficking, but then to the hope of Christ in us. I am just like the next girl. we are all equal in Gods sight. We want to be loved, cherished and pursued. How amazing it is that we have a God who can be that for us. If we just call on his name, he will come. He will change the way men see us, he will redeem them, he will redeem us. Lord forgive us for choosing independence.

I choose dependence on you.

It's just You and Me here now.

2009-03-10T17:36:00.001-07:00

Lord Help, for I am tired and weary, and really don't want to push forward.

But when we see you, we find strength to face the day.

I need you.
I need your strength.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. "
Philippians 4:13

I want child like faith; I want to worship freely.

2009-03-02T13:03:00.000-08:00

“I will make God of central importance, digging a deeper well through nurturing Gods loving, transforming presence in my life, denying myself, no longer conforming to culture, and renewing my mind through the daily practice of spiritual disciplines, fully committed to discovering Gods will in daily life.”-from the book; Culturally Savvy Christian

Lord you are the only one that satisfies
Help my faint heart and spirit within me
I believe you are speaking
I believe you will speak
I believe in you.

2009-02-20T00:12:00.000-08:00

Life is hectic.
Life is crazy.
It seems like it is such a whirlwind sometimes, going from one thing to another.

I picture myself at a beach. sitting. relaxing. at peace. To be still and know that He is God.
To listen to the waves crashing against the shore. To close my eyes as I feel the comfort and warmth surround me. To not have a worry in the world. To hear the Lord speak " I am proud of you my daughter. I love you. Trust me"

I choose peace.
I choose joy
I choose to hear him in the midst of it all.
Please speak Lord, for I am eager to hear you...I am hanging on every word you say..

I am so blessed.
I am so thankful.

Distance.

2009-02-02T18:52:00.000-08:00

Tension. Confusion. Insecurity. Doubt. lies. critical spirit. anger. frustration. bitterness. questioning. rejection. discouragement. inadequacy. heartache. FEAR of people
Greater calling. compassion. comfort. boldness. joy. forgiveness. faith. authenticity. empowerment. life. freedom. power. relationship. fulfillment. peace. FEAR of God.

I fear failure
I fear the unknown.

I don't understand.
I don't understand why we choose to disobey God to obey people.
I try to move beyond judgment and move towards Grace.
I choose Grace.
I choose Forgiveness.
I choose Freedom.
I choose Love.

Lord help. I don't want to be distant from you. I give this to you.

2009-01-25T23:31:00.000-08:00

Honor those who have dishonored you. Lord what does that look like? I'm working on this.....

.LOST.

2008-12-30T01:17:00.000-08:00

I was watching LOST tonight, yes I'm addicted to that show.
Just got done with Season 3! And going to start th 4th season soon.

But as much as it is dramatic and thrilling-it made me think. How really, we all are lost. With all the different characters on the show, their true selves are revealed of who they are and where they came from-they keep trying to find out more about their purpose and why things are the way they are;but in the end-they are still lost.

Sometimes I question really why am I here; and In the hard times I ask why do I have to go through this? and I know we've all questioned our purpose and meaning of life, but really if you think about it how can we not think we have some sort of meaning if we know that we were designed so wonderfully, each of us so uniquely by a Creator?
I feel like we live this life searching for meaning in any way we can. In a boyfriend/girlfriend in our friends; in our jobs; in our families. We are looking for something to make us feel worthy, valuable--meaningful.

But Ive come to a place where I finally believe that I do have purpose.
I'm lost when I choose to not show up for battle. I'm lost when I try to do it on my own, Im lost when I give up.
Everything I thought that would help me find my purpose, failed me.
Truly letting go of myself, and loosing myself-I began to find hope in Christ.
I am able to live, love and walk in that hope.

So remember, no matter what you're going through, or what you've been through, or what you're about to go through;

I have purpose
you have purpose
We have purpose.

Psalm 33:11
"But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations."

Psalm 138:8
"The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever— do not abandon the works of your hands."

Romans 5:1-8

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

Chains and Freedom

2008-12-28T21:07:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here in my room, so many thoughts racing in my mind.
The past, the present and the future.

Sin. I hate sin. I hate how it creeps in while we are unaware, at first we are aware, but slowly we allow ourselves to become weak-when we forget to cling to Him. we try to do it on our own, we forget how choosing HIM instead of SIN is far more worth it.

Why do we choose death (sin) over life ( Him) ?

I don't understand this.
I ask:

"Lord why did you give us freedom to choose you or not choose you?"
"Lord why do we choose against you, and slap you in the face?"
"Lord why have you let us..break your heart?"

And you continue to tell me because: "I LOVE you".
and then I realized: you risked your life for me, so that I may risk love, and have the freedom of choosing to love you back.

This song is my prayer:

"We confess that there is no other hope
and we repent God, for our wicked ways
I repent God for my double mindedness,
my heart so prone to wonder,
so quickly to cling to another
I've been leaning on the wisdom of man,
and I've been leaning on the lust of the flesh
and I've been grieving the holy spirit
and now I fall face down, down down. I repent.
And I tear my heart, I rip it open all that I've been holding onto, when you I forgotten, I take my heart and willingly, I rip it open, for I only want to cling to you, i don't want to cling to another, I've been chasing all those other loves and Ive forgotten you. NOW i take my heart and I humble myself in your sight, and I confess, I confess and I confess....I NEED YOU.

COME break the chains, the chains that hinder love..all that remains of yesteryear, come break the chains the chains that pull me down. Come break the chains and draw me near.
And let your fire burn consuming me, let your jealous flame come take away everything ....write your name upon my heart till all that remains is the light of your countenance. and I will be satisfied when i awaken as a lover of you......... as a lover of YOU. Whatever it takes, take it away, whatever it takes just take it away......."
" Break the Chains" -Misty Edwards.

The Lord speaks to us in this way:

1Blessed is he
whose transgressions are forgiven,
whose sins are covered.

2 Blessed is the man
whose sin the LORD does not count against him
and in whose spirit is no deceit.

3 When I kept silent,
my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.

4 For day and night
your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was sapped
as in the heat of summer.

5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, "I will confess
my transgressions to the LORD "—
and you forgave
the guilt of my sin.

6 Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you
while you may be found;
surely when the mighty waters rise,
they will not reach him.

7 You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance.

8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you and watch over you.

9 Do not be like the horse or the mule,
which have no understanding
but must be controlled by bit and bridle
or they will not come to you.

10 Many are the woes of the wicked,
but the LORD's unfailing love
surrounds the man who trusts in him.

11 Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous;
sing, all you who are upright in heart!

Psalm 32

Lord protect me, teach me, guide me and teach me how to be more like you.

I give him my chains to break, I have confessed,
I choose Him, I trust him, and I am able to walk in grace forgiveness and freedom.

How amazing is our God?